How to get good practice:
Have a good view of children
In order for adults to really be able to meet children in a way that feels safe and help children, the child's view is absolutely crucial. An answer that repeats itself from children at school, kindergarten , health services, child protection and with experience from the police or legal system, is that children quickly notice what kind of view an adult has of children and of themselves. How adults interact with children is, for many children, decisive for whether children get to tell important or hurtful things to the adult. For many children, it is also decisive for whether adults are able to give children useful help.
These four points are based on knowledge from children, and are a suggestion of what kind of child view everyone who works with children can carry and practice showing in the face of each individual child.
1. Children have a lot of knowledge about their lives
Children know how it feels to be themselves, what is important to them in the future and how school, kindergartens and help systems are experienced for them. They also know how they need to be met and collaborated with, for the systems to be useful to them. They ask adults to understand that children are wise and that they have this knowledge. This applies to all children - young and old, children in challenging life situations and children who are struggling or in pain.
2. Children need love
Children need to be met with love. To be greeted with love means to be greeted with human warmth. It's about how the adult's voice is and what kind of words the adult uses when speaking to children. Adults must speak in a warm and kind voice, and use kind words. Children also ask that adults have a warm and relaxing body language.
Children must be believed and taken seriously
When children tell things to adults, they must be believed. This applies regardless of what the child tells, and regardless of whether the adult thinks that what the child is telling is not true or not. There is always a reason why children choose to tell exactly what they are telling, to exactly the adult they are telling. Then they must be believed and what they say must be taken seriously.
4. Children do the best they can based on how they feel inside
No child wakes up one day and decides to do evil or stupid things to himself or others. There is always a reason why children do as they do. When adults see behavior or symptoms, it is often a hint that adults must wonder and dare to ask children warmly and curiously what the behavior or symptoms are really about. Adults must always think that there is a reason why children behave a little differently, and be curious about why. This applies to all children - regardless of behavior or diagnoses.
When children have different expressions or do stupid or hurtful actions against themselves or others, they need to be met by adults who understand that there is something behind the expressions and actions. Adults must think that no child is naughty, but that they are in pain. Children need adults who are curious about the expressions and actions of children, and who want to find out what things are about.